If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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