When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
