i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
