You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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