If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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