We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
