No stitches, just platelets and will power
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
