The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
