Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
