ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
