his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
