didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
