I think I just saw someone hide a body.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
