just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
