I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
