Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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