She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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