the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
