anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
