I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize