I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize