and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
