He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
