I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
