I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize