So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
