You're completely useless in the revolution.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
