I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
