I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
