in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
