i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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