dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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