wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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