At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
