At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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