No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
