Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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