Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
