the day after is always just damage control
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
