He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
