Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize