Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
