Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
