I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
