How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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