just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you made out with another girl for some wings
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
