there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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