dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
