What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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