you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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