Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
