She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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