Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
