You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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