Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
