id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
