Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
