It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
