i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
