i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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