Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
