So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
