too bad you live with your parents still
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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