yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
