i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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