She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize