sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
