the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
